Yesterday I got in a fight with the cashier at the Hardee's drive-thru because they're too goddamn slow! It takes longer than going inside, which really defeats the purpose. I lied and said, "I'll never come here again!". The lady replied, "Good! Have a shitty day!" and slammed the little window shut in my face. That's when I realized that I already was having a shitty day. I don't know if it's karma, or what, but fate just loves to bite me in the ass!
The morning started out innocently enough. I turned off the alarm, started the coffee pot, and headed to the bathroom. But when I reached for some toilet paper I found just one square, glued firmly to the cardboard tube. So I hopped over to the closet with my pajama pants around my ankles, grabbed the last roll we had in the house, hopped back, lost my grip, and dropped it right into the toilet. Then I had to hop all the way to the kitchen and wipe with those really rough brown paper towels that I steal from work.
I decided that I'd start the day with a good breakfast. Now I know it's a bit of a cliché, but one of my bastard kids really did eat the last of the Cracklin' Oat Bran! I was madder than one of those fat couples who lost their ceiling fan on Trading Spaces! Now I had to hurry so I could squeeze in a Hardee's visit on the way to work.
I whipped on some clothes and headed out the door. I got into the Mercury, but of course it wouldn't start. No problem, that's why I have the van as a backup. So I got in the van and god-damn! It stunk like a sick old possum had been beaten to death with a banjo. I looked behind the seat and saw that we had forgotten a doggy bag of Chinese food in there from two nights ago. I had to smoke the whole time I was driving just to put up with the lingering stench!
For my drive into work I decided to take the Powhite. It can be a pain sometimes because you have to wait in a line of cars just to be ripped off by those toll plazas. I threw my coins into the basket, and the machine rejected them like a scorned woman. I reached down into the coin return and received my coins, along with a small, gooey wad of hair, and a folded up band-aid. Ugh!
On the way to the Hardee's I was hitting every red light possible. Sometimes I'd swear that certain traffic lights are timed badly by engineers just to piss me off! And whenever I drive down single lane roads I always get stuck behind a slow ass 18-wheeler, or piece of shit PT Cruiser. Like clockwork, the PT Cruiser always pulls into the Hardee's before me so I have one more car to wait behind at the drive through.
From there it went like it always does at that place. Wait 10 minutes to get up to the speaker to place an order. Wait 10 more minutes while the construction company vehicle at the window receives and triple checks their 50 person order. Wait while the bitch in the PT Cruiser tries to fish her debit card out of her oversized purse. Finally get up to the window and wait 5 more minutes for someone to appear with my food. So yeah, I lost my temper on the first person I saw! So what? She still had no right to talk to me like that, and I'm still going to call the franchise owner and get her ass fired!