Wednesday, August 20

Tattoos can be sexy!

I'm all about the sex appeal. From my brown lip-liner down to my Uggs, you know that when I go out, I'm lookin' hot! And nothing completes the look like the right tattoos. They help me express myself in ways that a graphic t-shirt never could!

My first tattoo was a 16th birthday present from my mom. That and a fake I.D. were the only gifts I got that year. I went with good old "Taz", because it really spoke to me at the time. I'm think about getting it retouched, and maybe updating it with a fireman uniform, and a "#20" in honor of my man Tony Stewart!



When I turned 22 I decided to get another one done. This time I went for the classic "sun" tattoo, 'cause I was at the beach. I felt like going hardcore, so I had this one put right in my armpit! Goddamn that hurt! I remember my friends asking me if I was afraid of getting hepatitis from that cheap tattoo parlor. I said, "hell no! I already got hepatitis!".



With Kevin gone and this new phase of life getting under way, I realized that I'm finally ready to express my current attitude. I love those little "Bratz" dolls that my daughter's friends are always bringing over the house, so I decided to base it on that. Now that it's done, I'm happy to say that she's just like me: A little bit of an angel, a little bit of a devil, and a whole lotta crazy bitch!



There's another tattoo I had done of a cute little skunk, but I can't show you that one! Let's just say that they put it right where the sun don't shine! He's a li'l stinker!

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31 comments:

Brandi said...

This was the funniest post I've ever read.

Please tell me it was meant to be humorous...

Anonymous said...

For the love of God.

:(

Anonymous said...

White Trash piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

I used to have a tattoo of a homeless rodeo clown but i changed it to a world class magician !

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should change that last tattoo to Get Over Yourself

Anonymous said...

I luv ur tits, um I mean tats.

i want to date a woman like you when i get out.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious. If this is serious we've found the treasure at the end of the horrible horrible rainbow. Suggestion: Retouch the Taz tattoo by adding Calvin mischievously peeing on him.

Anonymous said...

You have got the smallest little tits I have seen in a while! Are you like 15 years old? You look like such a fucking cunt and sound like one too!! Probably smell like a nasty tuna fish can to top it all! Hopefully AIDS will go ahead and kick in so no one has to see or read your dumb shit again!

Anonymous said...

"I went with good old "Taz", because it really spoke to me at the time."

Yeah it said "wahgrarbbllptthh!"

Anonymous said...

for the love of god her name is Jocelyn Testes Harder...

Anonymous said...

I think it's this womans life to live, and the tats are hot but I hope she finds Christ soon. If she turns to Jesus the only ink she will ever need can be found in the good book itself.

[The truly wonderful irony of this blog is amount of commenters who are gettin 'all sorts of riled up' being too reactionary and obtuse to know any better.]


-VoxPop

Anonymous said...

God, another stupid person who knows nothing about life and who never put herself in question... Oh god, this is people like you who starts wars because of lack of brain and abundance of self-loving... You are disgusting.

MrGBH said...

Man, these commentors prove one thing. People can be morons when that 'Anonymous' word is protecting them.

I personally liked the tatoos, especially Taz. And that Sun tatoo has got to really freak people out when they first see it.

Anonymous said...

MrGBH just wants some redneck skank pussy. Take a picture of the forbidden skunk tattoo for us, k?

Anonymous said...

hahahahha this is so wrong on so many levels. The internet is a terrible place.

Qbicle said...

To Anonymous:
"...but I hope she finds Christ soon..." How could anyone find that Jezus guy? He hasn't been around for like 2000 years or so. And BTW he claimed to be god incarnated, so he CAN NOT exist.


And to the blogger:
TATTOOS ARE NEVER SEXY:
women are sexy, but women (or men) with tattoos are an insult to the rest of us who appreciate their body just how nature gave it to us.
I'm one half of a twin and even I(who has some kind of a duplicate of myself) think everybody is unique, so we do not need stupid printed T-shirts nor ink on our skin...

CĂ©ratitis said...

HaHa! This is absolutely hilarious!
Thank you Jocelyn!!

i hope the rest of your blog liken this post because i'm planning to spend some time on it! Never a grey day any more!

Anonymous said...

There are multiple types of hepatitis. Just because you have had one, doesn't mean you can't get another. Hep B and C are bloodborne (they like tattoo parlors) and last for life! Hep C will get you a failed liver if you are unlucky.

I can't tell if this page is so funny that it is scarey or if it is so scarey that it is funny.

Vaya con burritos.

Anonymous said...

She is already losing teeth. The tattoos just add to the "I'm a crack whore and I don't care who knows" vibe.

anonymous said...

ha... tony stewart is now number fourteen

Angela said...

i love your tattoos darling. the bratz one is the sexiest by far.

Anonymous said...

While I do agree that tattoos can be sexy, you missed the mark by a long shot. I'm sorry to say but none of your tattoos are what I would consider "sexy" or even a good idea.

I seriously hope that if you have chidren that you teach them better than that, because I would hate for future generations to end up like you.

Anonymous said...

Hahah, oh my god. I pity you. And your children, family, friends and relatives.

mary said...

You have a brats tat lol how old are you 5 ?!?!?

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how bitchy people are! People should be able to be themselves without the self-righteous beating them down!

Rachelle said...

Things like this give the people who put thought and time into their body art look like scum.

please don't put a fireman's uniform on him, he's been humiliated enough.

LTron said...

Seriously?? This just made my day. I also peed laughing.

Kat said...

I thought HARD before I got my first tattoo. It's on the back of my neck, and it has my nickname, Kat, in nordic runes. I know it's something that I definitely love, and I won't regret years from now.

Qbicle, yes, women are sexy. I don't think that tattoos aren't sexy, but there are definitely times where they definitely are not. And this is one of those times. Taz? Come on! Think of something that TRULY speaks to you. That tattoo just says "I was bored, and wanted to blow some hard earned cash"

Kat said...

Too funny! I'm a girl who has four tattoos. I love them all!

One skull that's very realistic for my grandpa who died this september, two friends who died the past two septembers, and two other friends who died in 2008.

Another is a rose head skull on a right shoulder.

My left shoulder has a cross with a rose in the middle and blood dripping off of it.

My last(although, the first) tattoo is on my back, shoulder blade to shoulder blade. It's an etchecd butterfly. Inside it says "homo fuge" and outside is a short transaltion "fly away". The longer translation is "fly oh man".
But I like the other one better.

I got these last to first.

Anonymous said...

fat arms fat arms

Georgie said...

Tattoos are sexy, I completely agree. I also agree with a previous post, yeah- That sun in the Armpit had to huuuuuurt! Owwwie! Way to have a pair!