Friday, January 29

Blessed day!

My sweet doggie Muffin has been found! One of my peoples down in Southside called me up and said she saw Muffin with some dudes I used to mess around with. The bad news is that these guys are into dog fighting. I didn't know if I should be more afraid for Muffin or those other dogs!

The majority of Richmond's stray or stolen dogs end up in the hands of dog fighting kennels. Most of them are used as simple bait in fight training. But there are exceptions, such as my incorrigible Muffin. Take one look at him and you know he was born to fight, because he bites people who look at him. It does seem like fun, but that sport is too dirty for my baby!

I rolled down there last night in the Caliber to bring him back home. Kinda sketchy, I know, but these guys know better than to fuck with me. I sent one of their cousins to the hospital a while back. About a month after it happened he told people that he still has nightmares of me coming up behind him in the dark with that broken bottle. What a punk!

So I get to the spot, which is out on a dirt road, and there's already cars all over the place. Getting to the pit was no problem because they had that same cousin in charge of "security". I got back there just in time to collect Muffin before his next fight. A few people tried to say something until I turned my head and shot them a look. Then shit got real quiet, except for one nervous sounding fart.

I led Muffin back out front and put him in the car. I scolded him for running away and getting into this mess. He just huffed and laid down in the back seat. I felt so lucky to have him back, and I figured since I was already there I might as well ride the streak and place a bet on the next fight. This was a wise notion, because I won $50! Muffin's getting some new booties!

11 comments:

Chris Farmer said...

That's one tough looking Muffin!

Antioch Puppy Mill said...

You willing to stud out Muffin? I want to breed more fight into my puppies and Muffin sounds sooo badass!

Anonymous said...

Being that you are on a hot streak with your wagering, how about giving me a tip? Do you think the Saints can cover the spread in the Superbowl?

Anonymous said...

Freaking morons, all of you

Jen said...

Aw, purple looks good on him!

Corey said...

This has to be the most intelligent, humorous, well written blog I've ever come across. I've spent the past 8 hours reading every blog post and OMG, I can't tell you if I've ever LMAO as much as I have today. I honestly hope someone picks this up and makes a movie based on your life because it is freaking awesome. If someone does make a movie of your life, can I play your ex husband Kevin? I mean I am gay so I am sure I am shoe in for that pussy bastard!

Caroline said...

Holy crap this blog is amazing. 2 years?? For 2 years you've kept this up?! Bravo. I am in awe... Seriously, wow.

I'll be sending some pple your way, amazing blogger, this is the most epic level I've ever seen.

vintagepiratex said...

Jocelyn, can be friends?

Anonymous said...

Dammit....I wanted that half a bag of kibble.

Anonymous said...

careful, she ate all the kibble already. only food she can afford

Anonymous said...

"A few people tried to say something until I turned my head and shot them a look. Then shit got real quiet, except for one nervous sounding fart."



Superb !