Tuesday, February 23

Phil is busy!

My new hubby Phil is at it again. I keep telling him that his damn friends need to stop calling here, asking him to go do stuff with them. Phil's a married man, which means his ass is busy! He doesn't have time to go whorin' around with his blotchy-faced buddies at the off-tracking betting parlor or whatever! So tonight and every night, he's here at my goddamn beck and call because the bitch knows what's good for him!

He doesn't know it, but I overheard him the other day, talking about how much he misses hunting season with the boys, or the occasional week in Vegas. He even had the nerve to refer to all his vacation time as wasted on what he referred to as "Jocelyncations". Apparently he doesn't like being forced to go with me when I visit my peoples in Jacksonville every year. Tough tit, hubby. That's your job!

He's also been trying to sneak out with his friends on weekends, especially during football season. But then I catch on and remind him that I need him to drive me and my friends down to the Wicker Barn (wicker outlet!) in Augusta, Georgia. He should be happy! This is his chance to drive his precious Caliber , while me and my girls get drunk in the passenger seats and laugh and carry on like a bunch of cackling hens!

In an effort to keep the peace, I've made a deal with Phil. For one night each month I'll stay home and babysit my kids so he can go out and do something he wants to do. The only condition is that he needs to bring my preteen son Brandon along so the boy can learn from being around the guys. What he doesn't know is that Brandon is mommy's little snitch, so if there's any funny business it's Phil's ass!


_

156 comments:

Anonymous said...

Train your man right Jocelyn. Can't have him running around when you got children need tendin' to while you're living it up.

Anonymous said...

You sound like a horrible woman. Marriage should be a mutual respect for each others needs and wants, not a self-centered, egostisical clusterfuck that you have portrayed. Take the damn bus to "wicker barn", or drive yourself. What are you doing the 28 odd nights out of the month when you can't babysit the kids? If you're working, OK, but I doubt that. You sound like a woman with serious entitlement issues, which definitely explains why you are REmarried.

Anonymous said...

You sound like a horrible woman. Marriage should be a mutual respect for each others needs and wants, not a self-centered, egostisical clusterfuck that you have portrayed. Take the damn bus to "wicker barn", or drive yourself. What are you doing the 28 odd nights out of the month when you can't babysit the kids? If you're working, OK, but I doubt that. You sound like a woman with serious entitlement issues, which definitely explains why you are REmarried.
HMMMMMM Could not agree more. Either that or she is a fucking cunt.

Anonymous said...

I think that's why you've lost a couple of teeth there, lord knows I don't hit women, but heavens you would drive me there...

Actually, no, I lie. I wouldn't even be there to knock another tooth out, if I were Phil I would have been LOOOOOOOONG gone.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I see a devorce on the horizon.
Absolutely pathetic. If you can't have a life outside of the marriage then screw it. And making your son go along as a spy? Not only do you CONTROL your husbands life, but you control your sons. You're just setting your son up to marry a bitch like you.

Anonymous said...

You are better off single lady! God bless your husband for sticking around as long as he did. you are Crazy with a capitol C. Good luck being happy...ever! Do the right thing... leave your husband and give him the freedom he deserves. He should recieve an award for putting up with your ass. Get a LIFE!

Anonymous said...

What a cunt...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, in a year or two, when your son's old enough that your husband doesn't mind letting him have some beer (if he's not already) he's going to realize that his one night out a month is way better.

You just sound like an awful awful person.

Anonymous said...

@anonytard who thinks taking the bus to The Wicker Barn is an option...
bus drivers frown upon larger than average cargo items, no matter how beautiful they are. Surely Jocelyn could go by herself, but who's going to strap her new purchase to the roof or hold onto it from the passenger window while she's driving her new treasures home?

Anonymous said...

Yea you seem like a stupid bitch to me and everyone else that has commented on you. Bitches like you should burn in hell. Really if I were Phil I would have probably killed you, sliced you up, and fed you to the sharks by now. Burn in hell bitch, BURN IN HELL!

Anonymous said...

"But then I catch on and remind him that I need him to drive me and my friends down to the Wicker Barn (wicker outlet!) in Augusta, Georgia. He should be happy!"

HAHA ya right you expect him to drive you and your friends around to some gay Wicker Barn and expect him to be happy? Even though you won't let him hang out with his friends to watch football? Bitches like you should be shot. Is this your first marriage? I would say no as you seem to be a bitch and i'm wondering why any guy would put up with your stupid, stupid bullshit.

BRO'S BEFORE HOES!

Anonymous said...

Dear Phil,

this is from another woman telling you to run man!

Anonymous said...

"bromancing your mancave anymore"
BWHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH! Tell 'em bitch!

Yellowstone said...

I don't understand why these clowns are giving you such a hard time here. Don't they know that "Girls just wanna have fun"?

Anonymous said...

What's with all the hate? Phil knew (or should have known) what he was getting into when he married her. If he doesn't stop complaining he's likely to end up being charged with domestic violence. Just ask her last husband.

Besides, he's damned lucky to have a free spirit like Jocelyn. If I lived in Virginia...

Maria said...

Wow! You are an incredibly self absorbed bitch on wheels! No wonder this is your second marriage. Pull your head out of your ass before you lose this one too. This isn't high school anymore so GROW THE FUCK UP you dumb cunt.

Anonymous said...

"what do you know about me?"

Well I know you have no idea what a marriage actually is. I know you are a self centered ignorant cunt. I know you are a fucking horrible mother and a horrific excuse for a wife.

You are singlehandedly the reason men turn gay.

Anonymous said...

You sound like a vapid cunt with serious control issues. I hope Phil rips you trachea out and leaves you in a ditch. Also, fix your goddamn teeth you slack-jawed redneck.

Anonymous said...

No gash is worth that. I'd go hunting when i want.

Anonymous said...

You are seriously fucked up lady. I would have thrown something at your teeth to even up that profile of yours, long ago.

Phil if you're reading this, Get the fuck out of there, fuck a divorce, fuck the cops, just pack shit your shit up and RUN!

JPeaslee said...

Clearly all of these "anonymous" commenters are just Phil's old friends. Give it up, boys! He belongs to Jocelyn now!

Anonymous said...

If you'd stop talking about your husband like that maybe you would have all your teeth!

MoP said...

Amen, sister!

Anonymous said...

"Clearly all of these "anonymous" commenters are just Phil's old friends. Give it up, boys! He belongs to Jocelyn now!"

Uhh...not really! I, like probably everyone else commenting, was linked this blog by a friend saying "wow look at this fucked up bitch." Was a great laugh!!

I actually feel kinda sorry for Jocelyn--what with her impending future alone in a nursing home once her kids finally get out from under her thumb (I'm sure her husband won't be around for too much longer)--but not nearly as sorry as I feel for her husband. Then again, she doesn't seem to have half a braincell, I bet he's smarter than she. While she's tooting her own horn on her blog, he probably has a pretty little thing (or two) on the side.

-Jessie in CA

Anonymous said...

What Phil needs is 5 roofies and a shovel. And Brandon is gay. And I'm still going hunting. With my nuts.

Anonymous said...

Man who spend too much time in doghouse will soon be found in cathouse.

Anonymous said...

what an ugly skank you are. you probably live in a trailer in some hic town. sounds like youre a filthy whore who cheats on your husband. god your pussy must be nasty. just thinking about it makes me want to puke. i could fill a notebook with all the nasty shit i would like to say to you. leave it to some skank bitch to blog about how hot she is, how useless your man is and how much you hate raising your kids. i wish i were talking to you in person. this way i could spit in your face.
i would punch your fckin other teeth out but i am afraid i would catch whatever nastiness you have from your blood. i would probably just kick you in that fat,overgrown,disgusting,smelly lint covered thing you call a pussy. your husband has no balls and needs to get his ass as far away from you as possible. you nasty cunt. dirty nasty lying dead cunt. i really think that most of the shit you write is nonsense. half made up half fantasy, who knows. but one thing is for sure, you are one dirty, worthless,whore who loves the attention. take the dogs cock out of your dirty ass. if i ever find out who you are i will send all this to dept of child services. hopefully they will take your kids away cause you have no idea how to raise them.
nothing worse than a cock hungry, lying,lazy,good for nothing,piece of 40 yr old worn out cunt.

Anonymous said...

God bless you; this is about the greatest god damned thing going on the internet.

Ken said...

You have done it again!! Bravo
Love you Joyce
This one was too easy. It was like shooting fish in a barrel.
Don't ever stop writing these.
BTW, if you ever publish a book, I want a signed copy.

Anonymous said...

what a crazy trashy bitch. i would definitely beat her (can't get much uglier). fucking trailer trash whore.

Anonymous said...

Anyone whose favorite books are Dr. Phil Getting Real, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Evangelical Christianity, Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover's Soul and Everybody Poops has got to be crazy. I honestly wish I could meet Phil just to apologize for how crazy you are. Phil, if you're ever allowed to look at your wife's blog, I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Wow...I am not one of Phils friends and yes, the cunt card comes out on this one.... "Slack-jawed redneck" is right.... and unfortunatly for Phil to 1st marry you and then stay with you.... well that prolly proves he's a dumb fuck redneck too... I bet neighter of you have a college educatuion, and those things you call kids, I'll call criminals in 20 years, why do people like this even breed, fucking scum of the earth....

-Josh in IN

DERPDERP said...

"Clearly all of these "anonymous" commenters are just Phil's old friends. Give it up, boys! He belongs to Jocelyn now!"

CLEARLY, since this isn't a blog on the internet. It's not like we don't have to know the bastard in order to know how to empathize with him, yanno?

Marriage isn't all about you lady. If he was fine with it, thats alright, some guys want that. But obviously since he doesn't from YOUR accounts, you're being a self centered bitch, thinking he should be HAPPY with a bunch of annoying harpies instead of doing something HE likes instead of something YOU like.

However he shouldn't be as self centered as you and compromise, which HE has done immensely so far from what it seems. How about YOU give now instead of take, take, and take.

Dennis said...

First of all.. Get off your fat lazy fucking ass you dumb cow and drive yourself. It's women like you who make married life hell and men fear commitment. Second of all. If you don't have a fucking job, and your not paying for gas, why the hell should be driving you anywhere at all? What are your cackling cunt friends doing for gas money? I'm surprised he hasn't decided it's time to careen over a cliff, bailing out at the last possible moment to rid himself of your useless remarried hoe-bag as, and those bitch-tastic friends of yours.
Too bad stupidity isn't actually painful, or I'm sure you would've stopped so long ago.. Oh.. Wait.. Did all his friends turn down your invitation to bang your ugly ass?! Is that why you're so pissed off? Cause that wouldn't surprise me one bit.. Kinda seem like a two time cheatin' whore. With all the partying you do. Just no one wants to play ball with a whorish hag such as yourself.

Sandeep Kumar said...

I am not one of his friends , i am from india, some one directed me to this blog, i know who u are , ur reincarnation of hitler without an empire. She is a freaking Nazi trying to kill me, i wanna kick u in ur gut and i hope you rot in hell, phil, run dude run, kids run toooo .. fast, she will take you to the gas chamber sooner or later... i look at you face and can imagine a witch , you fucking infected cunt.

Anonymous said...

STUPID CUNT...

DIE

P.S... u one ugly cunt....

Alex said...

Wow.

Wow.

Chuck your pride out the window and go to a psychiatrist.

You're going to ruin your son's life. Either, one, he's going to grow up and continue to be a "little snitch," and no one will take him seriously or trust him with anything. Or, two... he's going to grow up, realize how infinitely screwed up you are, and hate you.

This was my dad's childhood. It took him decades for him to stop hating his mother.

I pray that God blesses your life.

Anonymous said...

I have news for all you fat bottom, saggy-breasted single women and those on your third or fourth marriage. If you want to be a bitter, lonely, fat, smelly old woman you keep listening to old Jocelyn. She's just the kind of white trash trailer home queenie that you should take advice from

Anonymous said...

Phil

You need to get away from this crazy self absorbed bitch. She can go to the fucking wicker barn and get trashed with her friends but you cant go out with your buds to watch wootball and maybe have a couple beers???? It aint lov if you have to change to that much of an extreme. Tell this bitch to go fuck herself and get the fuck out and dodge.

Coming from a real woman

Phil's Friend said...

"ur reincarnation of hitler without an empire"

BWAHAHAHA!

That's it! Godwin's law invoked on FilthyRichmond. My day is complete.

Thank You, Jocelyn!

Kettle and Pot said...

"wootball" Is that where you yell 'woot' when you score a point? "devorce" 'Devoice' says devorce is spelled Divorce "I bet neighter of you have a college educatuion" Well 'neighter" do you. "First of all.." You know that's not a complete sentence right? "Second of all." I guess not.
Kettle: BLACK!
Pot: ?

Anonymous said...

My name is Lisa.
Woman to woman Jocelyn. How sad that you spend your married life breaking your man sprit instead of being his friend. Once he grows a set, and he will, he'll leave you because no man wants to spend his life as his wife's bitch, prison is prison even if there are conjugal visits. I have been blessed to me married 35 years to my best friend, who we mutually appreciate each other. There are times when I have girls weekend in A/C or he has a trip fishing with the boys. Have you ever thought that maybe your berate of your husband because of your our deep seeded inferior complex? How sad that you feel this is an accomplishment to kill that man's self worth.

Fiercecalm said...

This is fascinating. This is going on Facebook for others to read.
You are just everything that is wrong with the world, Jocelyn.

You make all of us feel like better human beings every time you open your cunt mouth.

Anonymous said...

Joss
You are possibly the funniest thing on this whole damn internet.
The posts are funny but the comments are hilarious. I loved your 'you'll be hunting for your nuts' - that actually cracked me right up.
Let me just suggest two things:
1. teach Brandon how to cheat at cards so he can ripp off Phil's dumb mates, and
2. make sure Brandon brings home some brewskis for Mama.

Anonymous said...

No coincidence your sign is Cancer... I hope you get it and have a slow and extremely painful death, alone with only a bitchy nurse who gets so tired of the shit that spews out of your filthy cock sucker, that she stops giving you your morphine. At least then you'll have a reason to be such a pathetic cunt!!

Anonymous said...

I cant beleive you have a husband with your horrible attitude toward men! He will leave you one day,just like the last one did. Stop being a bitch.

Anonymous said...

At least he can send the the kid into the store for the maxi pads you make him pick up while he's out.

Anonymous said...

wow you sound like a straight up biotch. you have fun, yet he's not allowed. seems fair in a fucked up tooth kinda way.

Anonymous said...

WTF ? Lady, *(ahem) You have issues. Mutual respect is the definition of happiness in a marriage.

You will always be empty and I feel sorry for you. THe thing is that people can change if they want to. You just are just more selfish than honest and your children will hate you if they are lucky enough to figure it out on their own. If you continue the mindF$$%@#$U#$%CKing you are putting on them then I can assure they will not be part of the unhappy end to your unhappy life. Feminism has polluted your mind.

Smell roses and quit being a bitch, I would NOT put up with it.

Old salty captain.

Anonymous said...

Wow you are one sad human. Please do the world and your husband a favor and go die.

Anonymous said...

By all that is holy, rid the world of this vile beast!

Anonymous said...

Throughout my life I've remained agnostic, but you've made it certain; there is no God.

Astarielle said...

I'm so sad...you have what seems like a wonderful person with you, but you're ruining it by being self-absorbed. Please, sit down with your husband, and talk about his needs. Marriage is a partnership, not a contract of service.

Did you ever read "I want a wife" by Judy for Ms.? You seem to have taken it too seriously.

Anonymous said...

Wow, with women like you loose in the world, I now understand why some men are compelled to beat their wives.
When your children grow up and they read this, or even if they just know you, they will look down on you and be ashamed to know that you are their mother.
It isn't homosexuals who ruin the American ideal of marriage; it is people like you.

Anonymous said...

you are a fucking nasty, ugly, redneck whore. die in a fire.

Anonymous said...

Get you ugly ass in the kitchen and make me a sammich BITCH!

Anonymous said...

You're an ugly gap-toothed whore and you're going to die alone and unhappy.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you are the single ugliest person I've ever seen. If I were given the choice between fucking you, and being castrated, I'd have my dick chopped off. At least it'd be less painful than sticking it in your acid filled cunt. I hope you do your husband and children a huge favor and die.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever had a man try to change you, alienate you from your friends, mold you into something you detested? If you had experienced that you would never try to do that to another human being. He's a man, not your pet. He will grow to resent and hate you (if he doesnt already) and it will be your fault, unless you give hime the respect any person deserves.

MeanRoy said...

Sweety, we still on for this weekend?

Here's hoping. :-)

R.

MeanRoy said...

Hi Jocelyn,
I haven't heard back from you re:this weekend.
I already have the flight and I sent the party goodies on via fed-ex. I hope it's ok I sent them to your place. I marked it "Personal - do not open" so it should be cool.
Since I haven't heard from you I checked out some of your local CraigsList ads, you know, just in case. Jesus H. Christ on a crutch, what bunch of pigs!
These hosers have a lot of nerve bitching about your looks now that I've seen a sample of local offerings!
(BTW, like I told you before, I think that little tooth thing is cute)

Anyway now that I seen how hard backup is going to be to find, I hope you'll get right back to me with some reassurance!
I'm sorry about that Valentine problem, how was I to know Phil would look at it? Ok, maybe I should have put it in an envelope.
I'll do better next time.

R.

PS, I've been thinking about that three-way thing you mentioned and I guess it would be ok if you're sure you can fit us both in.

Anonymous said...

i hope your husband knocks the rest of your teeth out with a sledgehammer.

Anonymous said...

Looks like me like your one of those hicks. Ya best git in the keechen an' make ma a sandwich!

Enjoy your divorce, you dumb whore :)

Anonymous said...

Cunt.

MeanRoy said...

Thanks for getting back to me, glad we're good to go. (so to speak)
Heh heh heh.
Sorry Phil won't be able to make it.

Wow, I couldn't help but notice some of them there Anonymous dude/dudette(s) (a little gender confused if you ask me) sure sound jealous.

R.

Anonymous said...

who really gives two fucks what this busted ass cunt says about her spineless twat of a husband. She's a fucking landmine of ugly.

L said...

hilarious

Anonymous said...

Wow... you are evil and sound like a bitch. You deserve every bad thing that comes your way. Remember... karma is a bitch!

Anonymous said...

I'm not one of Phil's friends... I don't even know you and am a better person for it. I do know this, I would NEVER, and I mean NEVER treat my husband with such disrespect.

Anonymous said...

If I married your ugly cunt ass, I'd be begging to get out of the house too. Fucking skank.

You're a terrible human being, a worse wife and undoubtedly a horrible mother.

Die in a fire.

Anonymous said...

KILL IT WITH FIREEEEE!!!!11

MAN THE HARPOONS!!

ITS A TARP!!!111

WOMEN NEED TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN!!!11

WOMAN SPELLED BACKWARDS IS KITCHEN!!11

THEY ASKED ME WHY SHE HAD TWO BLACK EYES! I SAID BECAUSE I WARNED HER TWICE!!

Anonymous said...

hope you feel good about making your boy into a soft pants pussy-ass homo.

Anonymous said...

You are a horable woman you need help!!! you r are obliously a drama queen just becuse of this site you feed off what everybody is saying sitting there smiling at your screen as you read each and every comment made.... if you want attention so bad than go and get yourself a dog!!! Im not sure that the dog would want to hang out with you i deffinitly wouldnt!!!! nor would I want too. do the world a favor go to the store get a paper bag sut out eye and a mouth hole draw a face on that fucker and put it over your head! anything would look better than the missing chicklets....

Anonymous said...

What a catch you are, Jocelyn, especially with that nasty snaggle tooth. Get thee to a dentist and get that gap fixed, you imbred she-ape.

He's already sleeping around behind your back despite your best efforts to constrain him, some detective you and your retard son are.

Phil is going to give you the cunt punt posthaste, no doubt about it. Hopefully to the bottom of a deep body of water with cement shoes on your feet!

Anonymous said...

please kill yourself, or sooner or later your man will do it for you. Your extremly selfish and have zero reason for being so.

Anonymous said...

cuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnntttttt

I hope he fucks someone else and leaves your ugly ass

Anonymous said...

Your terrible, fuck you.

Anonymous said...

So let me get this right...

When you get married the MAN is not aloud to do anything but cart you and you friends around and look after your kids...
But the CHICKS when married can do what ever the f#*k they want...

hmmm...

I'm a chick, and your a f#*king tool, the rules that apply for him should also apply for you.

Like i could understand it a little better if it was all because he was cheating on you, but this aint about that, you are just f#*king who knows what I don't think there is a word for what you are.

you need some serious help, go see your doc!

Anonymous said...

With your looks, your husband must be double extra ugly to be able to be bitched around by such a wildebeeste.

Anonymous said...

you must have a very smooth and tight pussy for him to still be with you.

cunt.

Anonymous said...

You are an ignorant toothless cunt. Obviously you married a man with no balls or backbone. I would bitch slap your ass everyday when I woke up, if I was living the nightmare your husband is in. Actually I have never hit a woman so I would just leave, but I might make an exception in your case.
Better solution- I know where you are so I am going to come down there and befriend Phil. I will take him out, pay a call girl to show up and hit on him and fuck his brains out. One taste of good pussy and he will be gone for good. Enjoy Babysitter Phil while you can, because when I show up in your lives it will be over. Biotch!

Anonymous said...

You put the capital C in Cunt! If I had the misfortune to wake up next to you after 100 beers I would probably puke myself to death. You are a toothless self centered bitch. I have never hit a woman, but if I was Phil I would lose it one day and end up beating you to death. He obviously is retarded, 100 yrs old or so ugly he has never been laid. No way any man could look you straight in your ugly face without going blind, let alone fuck you. And yes, Phil fucks you...there is no man on earth that could "make love to you". You are an inbred whore...now that I think of it, is Phil your older brother or your cousin, I forgot.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know people this crazy and self-entitled existed

Anonymous said...

Phil strangle and bury this ass ugly cunt in the back yard, the courts and her kids will understand after reading some of this bullshit she put on here.

Anonymous said...

Are you an angel from heaven? Because the fall really fucked your face up.

I pray that choke to death on your own bile

Disgusting pig

OTJAT said...

this is absolutely hilarious. i applaud you. no one gets it hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Thank God you are not my wife. You belong in a dark basement with basic food and water requirements. I hope your husband leaves your psychotic self and takes the kids so they wont learn the ways of being psychotic as well!

Anonymous said...

I hope this guy leaves you for one of your younger far more attractive then your ugly ass, friends. You dumb fucking bitch.

Mike said...

Wow... What a fucking douchebag of a wife you are.

Anonymous said...

Did you just wake up one day and decide to be a CUNT, or did you have to go to school to learn to be such a raging white trash bitch?

When your husband clubs you with the toaster to death, he'll be acquitted.

Anonymous said...

BITCH

Anonymous said...

Just looking at the pic of you makes me cringe, it's amazing you got a guy to sleep with you let alone marry you.

Meghan said...

Jocelyn, you are me hero! Some of these other idiots say that you have marriage wrong, but you have it just right! Phil is a lucky bastard that you gave him the one night!

Anonymous said...

Wow you are a certifiable cunt, and I never use that word, in fact you are a Cunt with a capital C! When he dumps your fat ass and cottage cheese thighs on the curb and starts banging a 20 year old remember you had it coming. Hopefully you'll see it on the internet, him laying wood to a slender nice little thing begging for it and him enjoying himself immensely on your bed while your out bitching somewhere else in the world. I truly hope it goes that way because his only other option from your comments on your blog is the life in prison route.

Anonymous said...

go learn RESPECT.
psycho

Anonymous said...

You, and anyone who agree's with you, should book yourselves into the nearest asylum, permenantly.

Anonymous said...

Ewwwwww........Look at her face......... EWWWWWWWW!!!!! You are one damn ugly bitch. I cant even look at your picture. Thats just disgusting

Anonymous said...

Sort your fucking life out bitch.

Anonymous said...

Dear Toothless,

You should feel luckily that some dumbass for the second time, married your hill billy ass. Open relationship is just your simple mind trying to justify your a whore. You can sleep with other people and your husband can't even go watch Sunday night football.

Dawn said...

This is the fastest way to lose a man, the fastest way to having him cheat on you!
You don't allow the man any freedom, he will lie cheat and steal just to make time for himself.
Marriages are 50/50. Yes you spend time together, but you each need your own time to do your own things with your own friends. What you're doing now is proving that you have zero trust for a man you just married. You're making him think of home, and spending time with you as a chore because he feels he has to do it.
Try loosening up the leash and see how much better it gets, because right now, he is thinking how to get away from you, and once he finds a woman that will allow him that freedom you don't, hello Divorce~

Anonymous said...

You look like Mel Gibson with a bad perm and missing teeth.

Anonymous said...

It's lazy, rude, despicable people like yourself that continue to perpetuate the false sense of self-entitlement in our society and lack of morals. You disgust me.

Anonymous said...

You realise that your husband is going to strangle you in your sleep, right?

I personally wish him well and would gladly instruct him in the technique.

Anonymous said...

What are you doing fucking around on the internet, Jocelyn? You don't have time for this. There is dinner to be cooked, dishes to be washed, and toilets to be scrubbed. Now get your ass back in the kitchen where you belong.

Anonymous said...

What a C*nt.

Rocker Man said...

Phil should be careful around youthful snitches. Safety First, I say. it's comforting to know you're raising a new generation of peepers, snitches, rats, and informers so we don't run out. Up here on the mountain, we don't have Wicker Barns or Pottery Barns, just horse barns and chicken houses. The local gas station sells sells whiskey and hog feed on the same aisle. Nothing really to snitch about up here. No body cares. The cops are busy smoking it up and there's firewood to chop...

Anonymous said...

Haha! If I was Phil I would have walked out on you ages ago!

Anonymous said...

As you see the comments exponentially increase, I'm sure you've at the least suspected the link to your blog is being shared. Well, hopefully you've suspected that since I'm telling you now that I was linked to this blog and read your short worthless outcry. What does a married man mean to you, to be your bitch? No mam, that would defy any sense and/or pride of the word to be a man.

Obviously if he chosed to marry you and have kids with you then he has been in one point in the state of infatuation with you for who you are. So in that sense I won't criticize on you for you are as a person, but rather yet your choice of actions towards your husband. I have some say on this matter if you care to read on:

1) You have the same responsibility of the children with your husband, and should raise them together. In spite of forcing your son to go with your husband, you use him to spy on him. Is that supposed to be cute? Well it's not, it's honestly quite sad that you not only deprive (or limit extremely) your husband free time with his friends, but even when you do allow him you show the least amount of trust in honesty of him from the case of your son.

2) Put yourself in relative scenarios as you put him to. How would you feel if you're the driver of him and his friends while they get drunk? Not so fun, especially when they show the least of attention to you (afterall, you're just the driver).

3) You expect a married man to sacrifice 90%+ of his free time for what exactly? For YOUR friends, for YOUR freetime (babysitting), and to deprive him of his hobbies with his friends for simply having him stay in the house like a dog.

I don't know who you are, and you don't know me. I'm saying this out of my reactions to your post, to share my thoughts to you and others as an individual of your 'situation' and the choices that you made towards your husband's supposed actions and desires. I must add that if I was in his shoes, listening to your complaints and your ripoff deals, I would not stand. You accuse of him of being trying to be selfish with his desires of hanging out with his friends but you fail to realize your own selfish lifestyle as you drag him into your friends while casting away him from his. Things should change in my opinion, but hey it's not my life so do whatever you want lady.

Anonymous said...

Oh My God!!!!

Jesus you're a shameful and vile woman. I will be praying for your soul!!! Hope you find Him lady!

tomasz. said...

how in the name of sweet teenage Jesus is this post getting so much attention?

T-Bone said...

I bet you are wild in the sack.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you woman!!

Skrilled said...

I would rather divorce and pay child support then be with a woman like you. He must not make a lot of money to put up with this shit.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! he signed his life to you for a reason with that ring and you make sure he doesn't get ideas otherwise!

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE A STUPID CUNT AND GIVE WOMEN EVERYWHERE A BAD NAME! And no Im not one of your husbands friends. Dont worry tho eventually you will be wrapped up in a tarp in a crudely dug grave and nobody will miss your skanky bitch ass

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't do you even if you had all your teeth you nasty tramp! Phil is a pussy - he needs to man up and slap the shit out of you!

Anonymous said...

You are HILARIOUS!!
Thanks for brightening my day.

lurl said...

You are awesome. You've single handedly blown the tiny minds of half the mentally retarded serial killers on the internet. It's amazing that so many of these guys know how to spell "cunt."

Sarah said...

I agree, a whole bunch of commenters who can actually spell 'cunt' is refreshing (from Facebook, no doubt!). Kudos to the genius who linked them here (except for the 'mam' part, idiot), your intelligence shines bright. I think most of them even used the proper forms of 'your' and 'you're'. Smart, smart bunch.

Also, Jocelyn- may I borrow your son, please? Mine is too young to accompany my husband on his monthly outing. I'll pay you in food stamps?

Anonymous said...

Phil must be quite a lot of man to be able to meet all of Jocelyn's needs! I think all these crazy herpe-jerks who are hatin' on her are jealous! So get up off your computers, tuck your tiny dicks away, and get out there are get yourselves a real woman like Jocelyn! Pussies!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to take a runny shit all over your head, you dumb bitch.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been back for some time Jocelyn - it's nice to see you've maintained your standard. :-)

Anonymous said...

leave him alone you old fucking bitch.

fucking hell.

Briley said...

Jocelyn,
I've been reading you for awhile now, and I don't get all the haters. You seriously got some insight on life. Love your posts!!

Anonymous said...

"Jocelyncations" - sounds like hilarity and fun for all!

I still love you Joss, no matter the worthless opinions of these proles and hoi polloi drifting in from other blogs.

Thibault said...

Jaysus Christ, well this entire line of comments is just the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS WHY MEN CHEAT (partially). Controling pyscho bitches like you never giving their husbands any breathing room to be a GUY. He's not your bitch, he's your husband.. your significant other.. YOUR EQUAL. Not your slave.

You don't deserve him, in fact.. you don't deserve any man. Learn to take care of yourself, your pathetic. GET A DRIVERS LICENSE and drive your own ass around. I feel so sorry for you and your family.. but mainly your kids and Phil.

I've never treated my husband like that, and never will. He can go out whenever he wants.. do you know why? ITS CALLED TRUST. Obviously something you know nothing about.. either that, or you just like having a little slave you can slap around. Either way, get a clue before HE does and leaves your saggy, toothless, LAZY ass.

Robert Walker said...

I used to have hope for people but now I just hope you're the only one of your kind. You seems to stand for everything that is wrong with the world. You are a controlling, negligent, lazy, egotistical, lying woman. You should never have had children or been married. I honestly hope your husband divorces you and takes the kids. You are absolutely the worst person I have ever heard of, and anyone who agrees with you isn't that far off.

- Rob

Anonymous said...

Bitch needs to get back in the kitchen

Anonymous said...

what happened to your tooth? fix that first, then your man will stay home with you. :)

Anonymous said...

What are you doing on the internets, back to the kitchen

Ryan Parker said...

You are a crazy self absorbed woman....I'm quite sure that you hear that quite often but seriously give some thought to why almost all comment posts are against your actions. Learn that you are wrong in what you do. So many people here are taking the time to try right your ways but all you do it fight back without knowing why. Learning is the constant human condition unless you are retarded.

If all else fails I think the darwinian award should go to you. Phil should in his right mind leave you and not bare any offspring. The line of madness should end with you and not be allowed to continue. As for your child from the previous marriage he has a big burden to bare. He carries the weak self-absorbed gene and in all right should not bare any offspring too. At the very least he should be very careful that his children are thought in a way that I'm sure you aren't capable of doing or even understanding.

Anonymous said...

Phil, Here is a lesson
Pack your bags
Get the fck out of this toothless cunts life,
Get custody for the kids,

Anonymous said...

Wow, your a bitch!

Anonymous said...

AUGUSTA!!!!!!! FUCKKKK YEAAAAA!!!!!! I feel so honored that you name-dropped my hometown in your blog. The wicker barn is a great store, too. Shit, if I were a man I'd straight up marry you and beat you.

Cockstand said...

Even though the majority of comments make me sad, I love your blog a ton! If you wanna be gay for another day, just hit me up, and I promise I don't mind none of that tampon business. ;)

Ed said...

Jocelyn you wretched, toothless broad. Post up some new stuff already. I found your corner of the internets a few weeks ago and am jonesing for more crazy shit!!.

annacakes79 said...

I can see that few of these people commenting know that marriage is about sacrifice and "dying to your self" (getting rid of selfishness). God gives you the person that is opposite you, so when the two of you become one, you are 1 whole person, together. A lot of people think this one-ness comes with sex, but as Jocelyn has shown us, it comes from bending the weaker one to your every whim and swallowing who they are and leaving them a shell of their former selves, then remaking them into who you want them to be.

Thanks for the lesson, Jocelyn!

Facepalm said...

Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE FUCKING MESSED UP! Your poor husband, why in the world does he stay with a ugly whore of a dog like you? Wow...some people, I hope your kids get taken from you so they don't learn to be a redneck piece of shit like you.

CP said...

Akron's on your shit list, eh? Can't wait to see what hell you'll unleash on their ass.

Much love to teh annacakes' post - helpful advice that every new bride needs to know.

Anonymous said...

oh, you. how i love you. i do i do i do! more than malt liquor, cute baby skunks and dumpster diving behind the grocery store.

Anonymous said...

I can tell your mother must have been beaten to let something like you walk on this earth. You must work at Burger King with a pair of teeth like that. I hope one day your husband leaves you and then you can be alone for the rest of your life like you should have been in the first place. Hope your kids never look up to you, your more like dirt they should be stepping on.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Hahahahahahahhahah! Phil sounds like a pussy. You didn't marry him for a male companion, you simply wanted another bitch around to agree with whatever you say and want to do. Any redneck bull dyke that agrees with you is the same. Why do women like you ruin the concept of marrage? If my fiancee ever told me that I was to be at her "beck and call", I would spend the next week at the bar in a drunken haze. As for the what I am sure are shitty trips to the house of the cromags that raised you, I am sure Phil is given the same opportunity as you to decide on vacation plans, isn't he? Nah, its your way or the highway, right? Hey Phil, if you are reading this buddy, take a chance on the airbag working and run your car off the road when your wife isn't wearing her seatbelt. I know the only reason you won't leave is because of the screwing you would take in court from this loving individual. I don't care, Christian or not, you are a boil on the ass that marrage has become in this country. I read your later story about how you dont want your kid hanging out somewhere else. I bet you wonder why, dont you? Ignorant cunt. Hope nothing bad happens to you!!

Anonymous said...

There is some fucked-up shit on this blog.

He should be happy! This is his chance to drive his precious Caliber , while me and my girls get drunk in the passenger seats and laugh and carry on like a bunch of cackling hens!

What... the .... Fuck.

You realize you just insulted yourself and your ingrate friends...

Anonymous said...

WTF! Can't believe all the moron comments. Bunch of angry pussys (probably self professed "nice guys"). Here you are making fun of the typical self absorbed wife who yanks her man around by the golden clit ring attached to his nose. And these fools don't get it. Guess I'd be angry too if i let that shit happen to me. MAN UP all you american boys. Your woman can't respect your pussy ass self. There are no victims only volunteers....

Anonymous said...

You are a hick.

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunt

Anonymous said...

You are a disgusting excuse for a woman. You should be killed. Seriously. You should be removed from the gene pool.

Ross said...

I hope you get incurable ass cancer and die you worthless skank whore. I pray that all the bad things in life happen to you and only you. Kill you kids too because they are carrying your damaged seed as well.

Anonymous said...

Lol I hope your husband cuts you open from your vageegee up to your ugly teeth and leaves you in ditch.

Anonymous said...

I've just happened to come across this and there's only one thing I have to tell you; stop being so selfish. True that to the people who said about you being remarried and losing few tooth. If I were the dude, I'd leave you right away. I wouldn't even dare to confront you because I'd be afraid of you beating the shit outta me. Stop being so damn narcissism and please start making some senses! Geez, woman! PS ; I do not know your husband, I don't even want to know both of you anymore.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't put up with your power-trippin 80's hair-style wearin snaggle-tooth ass.

Anonymous said...

you sound like a angry bag of cunt muscles. i hope he leaves you in the dumpster he found your fat ass in

and i know you wont post this just thought you should know

That scary black dude said...

Bitch be trippin'.

Anonymous said...

keep on posting about ur dominant mommy role..dominatin ur household n ur husbabd..