Friday, November 19

Cowardly travellers!

The hip trend these days is to bitch about the TSA. Folks love getting indignant about their own precious rights, like they're only people on Earth who matter. Well what about those poor schlubs working in airport security, who are just trying to do a job and keep y'all safe? Do they deserve to be labelled as Nazis and pedophiles just because they need to check us out for drugs and knives? No way! They rank among the heroes in my book!

What we have here is just another backlash, and I understand why. It's easy to be frightened by increased security measures. But just imagine what those poor victims of 9-11 would think if they saw you throwing a hissy fit over a nice thorough screening! While you're distracting everyone in the security area with your foolishness, an attacker could be waltzing on through the metal detector with his hairy crotch packed full of ceramic weapons. Feel guilty yet? You should!

Personally I think y'all are acting like a bunch of cowards, afraid to have your unaroused genitals depicted in photographic detail. Some people are such prudes about showing their bodies that they even make up wild stories about how these backscatter scanning machines are filled with dangerous radiation. What they don't tell you is that these machines actually expose you to less radiation than you'd receive from microwaving an entire turkey with your head pressed against the door!

Some of you have asked to opt-out of that form of screening, so the TSA went out of their way to develop an "enhanced pat-down" as an alternative. How did y'all thank them for their consideration? You complained again, even though you have no reason to be so shy about having your camel toes and moobs gently twisted by burly TSA agents. Honestly, get over yourselves! The feel of those big curious hands are a small price to pay for our national security!

Deep down y'all know that you're just being selfish and stupid. That's why you've felt the need to play the "what-about-the-children" card so early in the game. As a mom, I can tell you that the TSA isn't putting your kids though anything that they won't experience during a doctor's visit for a tummy ache. These agents are professionals, after all. They've got sterile latex gloves on and everything. Your kids are going to cry on this trip anyway, so let them get it out of their system during the security screening so they can be quiet during the flight!

You may remain unconvinced...but don't you dare give me that crap about your Fourth Amendment rights! There's nothing in the Constitution about the right to fly. You can just take the damn bus, or a nice long train ride. Then your non-radiated, unmolested ass can smuggle all the drugs and other "junk" that your little heart desires. But don't be surprised if that jihadist in the next seat has the same idea that you do!

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85 comments:

*GC said...

Something tells me you've never studied Constitutional law. That's alright..most people don't give much of a second thought about their personal rights as a citizen until they're infringed upon.

Comparing TSA agents to medical professionals is kind of silly considering it doesn't take eight years of school and internship to work for the TSA.

Anonymous said...

The TSA needs to realize that us non-terrorist passengers are an asset, not a liability. The TSA has not caught a single terrorist, even though there have been several failed attempts since 9/11. Every attempt that made it at least to the airport has been stopped by civilians.

Anonymous said...

You really aren't too bright, are you?

American Security Theater said...

Ironic that your calling those who don't feel the need to grope down their fellow passengers to feel safe "cowards".

Land of the free, Home of the brave.

Very brave of you to submit. Enjoy your free massage.

Corey said...

Jocelyn, you are so right! I am so tired of these cry baby Americans going out of their way to complain about everything! Most of them or liberal hippies anyway who are supposed to be about free love! They should be happy someone is touching their stinky rear end (which they don't use toilet paper on since it is supposedly "bad for the environment") because lord knows most people won't go near them with a 10 foot cattle prod! Just keep telling 'em like it is, maybe they will stop their bitching and listen!

Anonymous said...

Our rights are the most valuable thing we as Americans have, and it is not cowardly to demand accountability for them.

OriginalGeekstah said...

I fly so I can get felt up. Since I packed on the last 50 lbs, it's the only way it happens anymore.

Besides, it's free, quick, and there's no awkward 'the-morning-after-drama' like what happens with people from the craigslist erotica section.

Anonymous said...

>They rank among the heroes in my book!

Yes, a bunch of high school dropouts who grope women's breasts and men's testicles are heroes. God you're a fucking moron.

Anonymous said...

50 years from now, someone will write the "Complete History of the Internets". If they don't give you credit where its due, I'm going to burn this MFer down, Pookie.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I feel sorry for you.

Calling TSA agents "professionals"? Clearly you don't travel much.

I actually witnessed a "fight" between two TSA "professionals" in Atlanta (both women).

Can't say I have ever seen a fight in any doctors office.

WhatAnIgnorantPost said...

This is the most pathetic, uneducated defense of TSA I've seen thus far. Also, it seems as though you're a pretty righteous kind of person, sitting on your very erroneous soap box. You can be attacked anywhere: grocery stores, stadiums, parks... these searches do nothing but violate our bodies either by showing a naked x-ray of us or being basically sexually assaulted. My faith in the human race has died a little more after reading this post. Why don't you do some research before writing about such a controversial subject? To call TSA "professionals" is not only wrong but extremely, EXTREMELY ignorant. Let your kids cry at security because they are being groped? Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

as fucking stupid as ever.

Tim Whatley said...

Everything they said, and see a dentist.

Anonymous said...

Silly cunt.

Anonymous said...

I'm incredibly saddened by this post. Sad that you would so gladly give up your Constitutional rights in the name of ineffective Security Theater. Sad that you're so eager to trust your Big Brother Government and not stand up and demand accountability. Sad that you think it's okay for someone to be sexually assaulted and irradiated just because they bought a plane ticket.

You know what's going to happen? People are going to follow your advice. They're going to stop flying and the consequence will be the end of the airline industry as we know it. Maybe that's what needs to happen for Americans to wake up and take back what is theirs to begin with.

Greg Doran said...

Americans bitch about every god damned thing whether it involves them or not. If you don't like it then don't fucking fly. I like the Israli method of questioning passengers. I see no reason for not going through electronic screening. It is less invasive than a body search. Find every god damned terrorist and kill them immediately and move onto the next batch. I got no time for human follies as I may not make it to sixty. I am racist. Meaning I hate the fucking human race on a whole.

Anonymous said...

you need to research your facts. Yes, it's a smaller amount of x-rays, but rather than being dissipated in your soft tissue and bones, it's focused solely on your skin. Therefore, you're getting more x-rays per centimeter on your dermal layer, than you would if you went in for a normal x-ray. Fly a lot, and you are certain to get skin cancer. Additionally, this technology is 2.5 years old. There isn't enough long-term research to factually state that these devices aren't dangerous. Typically, a 10-year study is needed.

Lastly, if the TSO's don't like what they are doing, they need to tell their management. It's not their fault they have to do it, but it's their fault for keeping quiet. If both the TSA employees and the public are complaining about it, perhaps Janet will listen.

Anonymous said...

lol, buck teeth and all. go back to fox news and get further guidance on what to think next.

Ben Miller-Jacobson said...

The real cowards are the people so fearful of another terrorist attack that they are willing to give up their rights in an attempt to prevent one. I say, bring it on. The TSA hasn't caught any terrorists, so let's just get rid of them and take our chances.

Anonymous said...

Feel free to give your rights away. Please don't volunteer mine.

Anonymous said...

Greg Doran is my hero.

Anonymous said...

GO BACK TO RUSSIA

Anonymous said...

You know what, the only time you'd get anyone to touch you is at the security checkpoint!

Anonymous said...

You are one UGLY LOOKING woman! And, you think you can write?? What's with all this "y'all" crap? Since you probably live in a trailer park, it's doubtful you've ever flown. If I worked for TSA, I'd put three pairs of gloves on before patting you down.

Anonymous said...

An extremely lame attempt at supporting the TSA. Sadly, many other cowardly Americans agree with you, and that is why we're traveling down this road of giving up our freedoms and dignity.

Anonymous said...

You are a very ignorant woman(?).S

Gary said...

what a stupid hole

Jaska said...

Your inclusion of the word 'y'all' in several of the above sentences is a testament to your low level of intelligence.

R.G. said...

You said not to give you any crap about the Fourth Amendment because there is no right to being a passenger to a plane. What you fail to realize is that the Fourth Amendment is the Right protecting us from Unreasonable Search and Seizure. Boarding a plane is not a crime, thus being virtually strip-searched and sexually assaulted by the TSA would indeed fall under the unreasonable.

Anonymous said...

Most people don't give a second thought about their personal rights after they are blown out of the sky because someone did not get checked.

Anonymous said...

You're right, I have no reason to be so shy about having my "moobs gently twisted by burly TSA agents." Too bad everyone else responding to this post doesn't feel the same.

I must subscribe to your newsletter, if only to watch the silly people respond.

Anonymous said...

I am an RVA native and you are embarrassing me with such drivel.

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

--Benjamin Franklin

Anonymous said...

I'm a TSA employee, let me grope your breasts! They might be terrorists!

-Signed,
A person with all of their teeth.

Bigpetey said...

In your Bio you say." I'm newly remarried, (but it's an open relationship!). If you want to get with me you'd better be ready to take care of my needs. I have no time for you no-account fools" You then go on to say your favorite book is, The complete idiot's guide to evangelical Christianity. I now completely understand. What i don't understand is how you were allowed to breed!

Anonymous said...

U r a rather stupid cunt

RexRedbone said...

Ever see the trash coming up from Mexico?? Then tell me about the TSA and their fine work.
The most recent attacks didn`t start on US they started in the EU and other Middle East contrys its all about them spending money on crap that Islamist will not walk thru.
When you fix that Mexican Boarder thing and The amount of human garbage at the TSA if they ever get their union they can never be fired!

Anonymous said...

This woman and all those who think like her are the real non-Americans and should be kicked out of our country!

He blatant disregard for our Constitional rights in addition to blind ignorance following what the government and mass media tells her and her ilk is horrifying.

There are so many holes in the TSA's story whether it be about how dangerous they are, if pics can be saved, violations of child pornography laws and former heads of Homeland Security financially benefiting from these machines anyone with even half a brain should be questioning what's going on here.

Please do us all of us true Americans a favor and leave and take your "I want security over freedom" chanting chronies with you!

Anonymous said...

Apparently you are one of those idiots who know absolutely noting about out constitution. Has anyone ever said anything about the right to fly? Fuck no because there isn't. There is however the right to not be subject to search or seizure without a warrant.

The TSA is not above the constitution, and we need to remember that.

Anonymous said...

Stay classy, Richmond.

nurseterri5 said...

What will you say when your right to an 'open' marriage is infringed upon? When it concerns YOU, then it will matter. Wake up, this affects all Americans and it is just the start of their end game: total control. Google Article 21 or Trilateral
Commission or Bilderberg Group. You need an education in more ways than one. TSA=Too Stupid for Arby's. If you can't defend your constitutional rights, then that makes YOU the coward, not the travellers who protest gate rape. WAKE UP!

Alicia PhD said...

Have you not read the horrific stories of abuses from the pat down procedures implemented by psychologically troubled, untrained, TSA agents (they're not "professionals", they're minimum wage off-the-street not even always high school graduates untrained workers) - A flight attendant required to remove her prosthetic breast? A 6-year-old boy's genitals fondled? A hand up a woman's skirt and in her panties? Fingers in a nursing mother's labia? A rape survivor's psychological trauma at a public molestation of her breasts?

Give up all decency and personal space to make sure people feel like something's being done to protect them when it does absolutely nothing at all to achieve that. They've recovered 130 disallowed items in a year with the new system. Whoop-de-doo

We need high speed rail in the U.S. so we have an option other than flying. Right now if you want to go across country, or half way across country, you have to fly. There are no bus or train options in many places, so telling people to just choose something else is not plausible.

Anonymous said...

hhhmmm, This is not ALL about airport security!!!
I wonder how you will feel when these "mobile units" start showing up at your mall or at the movies?? It's about big brother watching you like a hawk!! They can and will pull you in to these mobile units for screening or whatever. NO? Ever hear of England? It's happening there NOW!!!!! I bet you think Obama is doing a great job too!!!
Every day one of our rights are being taken away from us and most don't realize it. The sneak this crap in these huge 1000 page bills that nobody reads and then signed into law!!
Well, don't worry about it. When your rights are flushed down the toilet then you will wake up but it will be too late!! Moron liberals!!

Gregg said...

Your message must have been fine with being groped, because it is currently flying over pretty much everyone's head.

Very nice. Poe's Law in action.

Anonymous said...

Dumb redneck

Anonymous said...

You could do far more physical and economical damage, kill more people, and cause far more panic by blowing up the mall on black Friday (or any other day) then you'd could by blowing up a plane. Yet you can come and go from the mall as you please without getting raped at the door. - No TSA there, and no terrorists either... and fuck the "Superior Orders"-defense, it's weak and useless.

Anonymous said...

Jocelyn, if you are comfortable with all the new TSA procedures so be it.

Ever since 9/11 they have had all kinds of extra security measures to supposedly catch terrorists.

Guess what, they have caught nobody. The terrorists who have been caught were apprehended in other nations and were coming here....

We already have GPS and RFID everywhere. Not to mentioned the damned cameras and camera phones.

In a few years there will be no privacy for anyone. Because nobody stands up for the Constitution and americans rights.

When they kick your door in for one of your online posts, you will find out the hard way.

Daniel said...

@author: can i pat down your daughter? It's OK I'm a professional!

Commercial airliners are a private company. There is no reason to have a government "agency" checking it's passengers. Imagine passing through an x-ray machine every time you get on a public bus or the metro. It's unrealistic.

@Corey: America was created on questioning and complaining. Read your 5th grade history book.

Anonymous said...

Putting your head against the microwave will not have the same effect as back scatter radiation. Microwaves are non-ionizing. Back scatter x-rays are ionizing. They do cellular damage. The problem is that back scatter x-rays ionize the surface of your skin. The the energy to surface area is being mis-catogorized. Business used to x-ray feet to give you an accurate shoe size. This was deemed safe, although the effects of radiation were already clearly understood. When people started getting tumors on their feet, the practice stopped. Do you want to be that individual who finds out back scatter wasn't so safe after all when you lay dying of a skin melanoma?

Anonymous said...

I read this entire article, and frankly, it just sounds like you are a self-righteous bitch.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, Joss. You really stirred up a hornet's nest with this one. Timing, execution--all perfect.

Nerys said...

I want you to consider something. Besides the secure cockpit doors.

Take EVERY SINGLE MEASURE
Every single new illegal organization (Homeland security and TSA) Every single LAW every single Policy every single TOOL currently in use at airports.

I want you to visualize this concept. lets put 100% of all of this INTO PLACE AND IN FULL EFFECT on 9/10 the day before 9/11

what changes? think hard about this. what changes?

Absolutely Positively NOTHING changes. they were LEGALLY HERE with LEGAL VALID ID without any real weapons (sorry box cutter does not pass muster in my book)

there is one reason and one reason only why 9/11 happened and why it will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN even with the best efforts of our government.

Our policy regarding hijacking and our new unofficial policy IE no plane full of Americans will ever fly again where some of them will so much as hesitate to stand up and "take on" a hijacker.

that and ONLY that is why 9/11 will never happen again. CAN NEVER happen again.

everything else is simply violations of your rights that is supposed to be ILLEGAL to violate.

there is only ONE way to protect a free population and that is to EMPOWER the population. not subjugate it.

Oh, I Get It! said...

These comments are awe-inspiring.

Anonymous said...

is anyone really paying attention to this fugly bucktooth biatch. fookers lol

Jeremy said...

Wow, so many haters. Let's see, how about we also forget about all of the laws that the police enforce. Let's all "take our chances" without a police force to hunt down criminals too. Let's just let the school system relax any regulations to protect your children and just let them "take their chances" and also trust them to just learn on their own. You people are retarded.

Anonymous said...

Actually the cowardly travelers are those who gave up their rights because they are scared of a very unlikely event. Ten times as many crashes are caused by other causes such as pilot error, weather, and mechanical failure. Ten thousand times more likely to die in a car crash. 100 times more likely to get struck by lightning. You know what the victims of 9/11 would think? Shame on you for giving up your freedoms. You let the terrorists win. And by the way, you're still just likely to die on that plane after being seen naked and being groped. Enjoy your flight!

Don said...

I feel so much dumber having read your BS! My god, you and your supporters are why we are losing our freedoms. Wake up and see the Socialist Government forming right before your very stupid eyes!!

Anonymous said...

what a stupid bitch

Anonymous said...

"so the TSA went out of their way to develop an "enhanced pat-down" as an alternative."

Well isn't that so KIND of them to go "out of their way" to give me an alternative to being displayed nude and/or possibly get irradiated to unknown levels.

The government is so pure and good, always looking out for my best interest.

Do you REALLY think this stupid TSA methodology is working? Have they caught ONE terrorist using their new methods? What a waste of time, money, and resources.

Then again, it does create 65,000 jobs for vastly uneducated boors who would otherwise sit at home and collect unemployment. I guess if I'm going have my money stolen and redistributed to others, may as well give it to someone who is hired to molest my groin, right?

tylor said...

My rights mean more to me than they do to you apparently; you ma'am are the coward.

Anonymous said...

".....microwaving an entire turkey with your head pressed against the door!"

Damn fine writing, Joss! Keep up the good work, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, most of you people are retarded. Truly. Take some time to think about what you read and process it before you go and make complete asses of yourselves.

That was one heck of a funny blog.

Anonymous said...

You are a fucking moron!

Anonymous said...

You are a fucking moron

Anonymous said...

Can't you understand that locking the cockpit doors was enough? Unless it stops there will be full cavity search. Is it worth your safety? What are you even protecting at that point? Where's the data that proves it's working?

Anonymous said...

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin

Please listen to these words from an American founding father!

kiwi2704 said...

I feel less secure with all this show off security tactics. They are not even well thought out - they are reactions to things that have happened instead of proactive measure that could have some impact.

And why does Israel not have this problem? You can't tell me the terrorists have quit targeting them. They have the biggest kick me sign on the planet.

Educate yourself

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2006/08/23/what_israeli_security_could_teach_us/

Anonymous said...

Today I Learned:
Terrorists don't shave their junk because it makes it rather difficult to conceal ceramic weapons....

Lulz....

Anonymous said...

You are fucking stupid.

Anonymous said...

You're stupid and ugly. Go away.

Anonymous said...

Oh man - after hearing all those stories - I may finally have to get off my lazy ass & take an airplane somewhere (you know - gotta get my junk checked out - save $ from having to go to doctor).

Jocelyn, As well - Xmas is coming - you need to make a post about your favorite charity - plenty of idiots here sitting around with credit cards & nothing to do

Anonymous said...

"microwaving an entire turkey with your head pressed against the door"

Good lord you are retarted.

Anonymous said...

Your must work for the TSA with your phony bologna job.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. Dumb toothless bitch is dumb.

Anonymous said...

Fucking stupid.

Anonymous said...

Stupid toothless cunt.

Not Your Friend You Fucking Twat said...

TL;DR, but I know sure as hell that you are just a dumb bitch that needs to keep her views in the kitchen chit chat. The TSA workers may just be doing their job but I'm sure you would villify the Nazi SS for performing their job. What is the difference? So fucking hypocritical.

Anonymous said...

I'm honestly shocked to see an American goose-step so well.

We're the ones fighting for your legal right to privacy (seriously, read the fourth Amendment, you twat); you want to be fondled? Gawked at by some perv?

Fine. Volunteer for it. Better yet, cut to the chase and buy some cheap fencing. Live in it as do livestock.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most ignorant piece of garbage blog post I've come across. Your blog post title alone says all one needs to know about you & you are dangerous to the innocent. People have been sexually assaulted, research it. Look at whom they choose to their fun little pat downs; They don't even change gloves. If you actually believe this is for the safety of passengers your mind is already under their control or you or a family member work for them. Biometric-retinal-eye-scanners vs. body scanners, used by the govt already it is a better option; Ph, but wait, the main investor of the body scanner machines has ZERO vested interests in biometric-retinal-eye-scanners. This is about greed & removal of liberties & by posting this ludicrous drivel your heading straight for new attire: a brown shirt uniform.

Anonymous said...

I think I'll just be more respectful & disagree with your article this time. Why? Are you going to let your government, in the near future, install cameras in your home so they can watch you? These people will not stop until the people take a stand so it's now & not later.

Anonymous said...

I'm a TSA employee, let me grope your breasts! They might be terrorists!

-Signed,
A person with all of their teeth.
-----------------
In the above sentence, does "their" refer to
A) terrorists
B) TSA agents
Or C) "TSA employee"'s multiple personalities ?

Anonymous said...

lol "these people are professionals". they're idiots who couldn't get a job anywhere else.

Anonymous said...

Joc, you could be the funniest person on the net, but for the competition from those of your commenters who just don't get it.

Remember: Those without a clue are not looking for one.

IamEveryDayPpl said...

Ha! So right! And i for one enjoy a big burly curious hand now and then... always =/

You Should Visit an Airport. said...

ok honestly, you're one of the most ignorant people i've ever seen on the internet. Like honestly, they should screen people like you before you get to access the web. I watched a little boy get his toys taken from him, ripped apart before his eyes, and then dropped on the ground because the TSA agent felt it was "necessary" to violate the childs teddybear and gaming devices. He was clearly a threat to your safety, huh?

Anonymous said...

You are a stupid cow.