Comments on Jocelyn's Corner: My little bundle of joy!

Congrats, but I'd be careful about what you po...

2010-03-13T04:14:26.511-05:00

Congrats, but I'd be careful about what you post on the web.
If someone were to contact child services claiming you're using illicit substances during pregnancy or around your children (or hell, in general) chances are someone is gonna make a case out of it and take your kids.

So really.. post with caution if you love those little buggers.

Go Pfister!, Go Pfister! , Go!

2010-01-27T17:06:51.107-05:00

Go Pfister!, Go Pfister! , Go!

I think you will be a great mother, keep on gettin...

2009-11-03T16:31:26.242-05:00

I think you will be a great mother, keep on getting that kid stoned.

I'm not sure what I'm more impressed by: t...

2009-07-19T19:57:35.852-04:00

I'm not sure what I'm more impressed by: the fact that you seemingly grew a baby in mere minutes or that you had the moxy to ram your way into a building and birth the baby yourself!

Ha, and you're anonymous!

2009-07-18T17:08:30.958-04:00

Ha, and you're anonymous!

You are terrible.

2009-07-18T10:29:55.706-04:00

You are terrible.

Oh bejeezus, all you people who want to mollycoddl...

2009-07-18T07:51:55.867-04:00

Oh bejeezus, all you people who want to mollycoddle babies. Babies bounce back, they're strong and flexible. If we can deal with a bit of beer or weed, what makes you think babies can't? Christ, they won't even let a woman smoke any more while she's pregnant. My mom smoked througout her pregnancy and I turned out just fine, and even though the extra toes make shoe shopping a pain sometimes, they're always a good conversation starter on the beach; and the second thumbs is really useful when I'm bussing tables.

First off, these people are right, it's family...

2009-07-18T03:23:12.741-04:00

First off, these people are right, it's family time now. Like my mother says, you did it, now you deal with it. If you can't handle settling down with a family, at the very least send the kids to someone who can.
Secondly, in her defense, marijuana is not nearly as bad as all of you think, especially during pregnancy. THC (the main ingredient) is used by the growing fetus to stimulate brain cell growth. http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths/#pregnancy

BAR HOPPING AT 9 MONTHS PREGNANT? I actually feel ...

2009-07-18T01:09:03.130-04:00

BAR HOPPING AT 9 MONTHS PREGNANT? I actually feel so sorry for you, and all the crap you're going to have to put up with when your child becomes delinquent by the age of 5.

See you on Jerry Springer.

I called my brother and he knows someone who'l...

2009-07-06T05:47:44.239-04:00

I called my brother and he knows someone who'll give you $800 for it..
if you want, I can hook you up.

or even a couple of oz's of primo medical marijuana, if you prefer

maybe even more,
but you'd have to get his ear to quit sliding off..
(I have an extra stapler even)

Aw c'mon mrsgrinnan, everyone knows that if yo...

2009-07-01T13:51:26.610-04:00

Aw c'mon mrsgrinnan, everyone knows that if you have an std when you give birth, the baby comes out resistant. And as for drugs and alcohol, well not everyone lives in white suburb neverland like you. This all's a part of life, and the sooner the kid gets used to it, the easier the time he'll have getting used to smoking when he gets bigger. I say get it outta the way before puberty, otherwise they'll call him a dork in junior high and then he'll come whining to mom about how he's not popular.

What the FUCK is wrong with you? I am going to ass...

2009-04-12T13:54:00.000-04:00

What the FUCK is wrong with you? I am going to assume this is all a joke and that NORMAL individuals have actually paid attention to a little research about drugs, alcohol, and pregnancy ... You are truly an idiot and I could see why your husband would leave you if this is all true. How about fucking someone RANDOM while you are pregnant? Have you ever heard of STDs? Your children should be taken from you and you should be fixed!

Thank God your Daughter is pregnant! She can help ...

2009-02-26T13:11:00.000-05:00

Thank God your Daughter is pregnant! She can help with the nursing tasks and who says you can't use both sides of a diaper?

Would you like to earn some extra cash by babysitt...

2009-02-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

Would you like to earn some extra cash by babysitting my 1 year old niece?

We won't mind if you just ducttape her to a wall, like we do.She's no trouble. Just give her her cough medicine when she noisy. If you are interested, lemme know in the comments.

Congrats on your new baby boy. Now I need to have...

2009-01-18T12:24:00.000-05:00

Congrats on your new baby boy. Now I need to have a girl so we can be related in 14 years.

obbop, you have enlightened me. It's time that ki...

2009-01-13T16:10:00.000-05:00

obbop, you have enlightened me. It's time that kids put their endlessly energetic, motor-skill lacking muscles to work. Joss, I hope Juice is nursing himself soon. The only way to implement obbop's ideals is to delegate common baby tasks to non other than lil Juice, himself! Start him off by making him nurse himself (maybe put a hamster water jug next to his crib so he can get milk alone instead of bothering mommy. Oh, and you've got two other bundles of joy that can go right ahead today and take over that burdensome task of changing lil' Juice. Just a couple tips, babe...

Justin, I hope you do not compute your own taxes. ...

2009-01-12T12:18:00.000-05:00

Justin, I hope you do not compute your own taxes. If one is to squirt out a squawking vile spawn, the proverbial bundle-of-joy, you want to do so as late in the year as possible. One minute before midnight of New Years Eve is best.

Doing so allows a full year's tax deduction with minimal expenditure.

Now, our beloved Jocelyn will have a full year of expenses for the same tax deduction.

Of course, we know dear Jocelyn will minimize those expenses in many ways.

Our next goal is to toss those burdensome child-labor laws and convert what is now an expense into an asset.

Get those vile spawn back into the mines, factories, onto the farms and convert them into productive family members vice the burdensome economic anchors dragging us into the depths of economic mire.

i am sure she would sell it for a couple of ounces...

2009-01-12T10:28:00.000-05:00

i am sure she would sell it for a couple of ounces of pot.

let me know if your thinkin about selling the baby...

2009-01-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

let me know if your thinkin about selling the baby, my email is daftpunkringtone@gmail.com

good thing that the baby came out with all its fin...

2009-01-11T08:51:00.000-05:00

good thing that the baby came out with all its fingers and toes. I am surprised it did not look like an alien

If things don't work out with you and Phil, lemme ...

2009-01-10T15:28:00.000-05:00

If things don't work out with you and Phil, lemme know. I'd love to help start the next batch of babies.

Woot! Just in time for tax returns! More kids to...

2009-01-09T21:14:00.000-05:00

Woot! Just in time for tax returns! More kids to claim = more booze/ganja $$$!

Get it!

Child services will be there soon. She will need ...

2009-01-09T19:19:00.000-05:00

Child services will be there soon. She will need to contact the health department for more wic money.

You're sick lady. I hope you're joking.

2009-01-09T14:07:00.000-05:00

You're sick lady. I hope you're joking.

Alright little miss heroin addict, get off your hi...

2009-01-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

Alright little miss heroin addict, get off your high horse. Just because you have a couple or three or four kids doesn't mean the party is over - you need to party even harder just to compensate.

BTW, Satan incarnate was my first ex-wife, not dear Jocelyn.

Congrats for baby Juice and Mom!!!